Free Key Press-to-Open Keyring
Normal keyrings are most famous for being stroke-inducing difficult, nail-destroyingly painful, and they’re also not appropriate substitutes for engagement rings or even purity rings. The Free Key Press-To-Open Keyring is the opposite of all those things, especially the purity ring part. Trust me, you’ll be having zero sex if you go around wearing this as some sort of statement. For its actual, non-silly use, just press the Free Key to open it; a novel idea repeated a disturbing amount of times on the packaging. And as the packaging also suggests, the Free Key includes three group rings for organizing your keys into groups such as bicycle, motorcycle, and…boat? Oh packaging, you slay me with your quirky whimsy.